Trepidation, Jitters and a new beginning

Posted on Sat Oct 29th, 2022 @ 11:02pm by Lieutenant Bral Magnamus

Personal Log Star date XXXX – Bral Magnamus

Captain Dean has just left my quarters. He stopped by to let me know that the Little Rock is coming up on Tabula Rasa where my permanent duty station is. I thanked him for the ride and the ability to get used to life on a Federation starship.
Looking about the room I see some of the small things I did pick up during my transfer flight. A handful of dice made in different stones for different games throughout the galaxies. Moving a bit further about the room a well-stocked bar including my favorite Scotch whiskey from Sol. Stopping in front of a wall of weapons collected from fallen foes and from auctions house from a past life, my mind began to wander.
The dropship falls through the atmosphere, stomach-churning, and bile rising. My voice screamed in my head in fear wanting to run hide, to just not be here, to be that little boy getting into fights back home. The Marine Captains' words barely echo in my head as the ship stops shimmying as clears the inner atmosphere. Stomach still churning I steady myself as much as I can and then deploy out the back of the dropship to my first battle.
With a deep breath, my eyes refocus on the wall. Scanning everything I reach out and grab a small blade the size of half my forearm, which resembles the earth's khopesh and I set it on the table next to me and pack the rest of the weapons away.
Sitting here I take a big swig of my scotch looking about a room that is packed up maybe two days earlier than needed but nerves don’t want to miss anything I own. Drinking and looking at the computer as I write this my mind wanders again.
Phaser blasts explode nearby screams echo through my head, stomach in knots as those I trained with writhe in pain or lay dead. Shaking my head, I feel my stomach doing what it did years ago at that first battle. Forcing the bile down I look over the reports and send out two more squads to help root out the Nausicaans from our mining positions. More reports about more good men dead or dying. Stomach wanting to void itself onto the wardroom table and battle map, I close my eyes and nod for the Marine air wing to come in and cluster bomb some of the heavier fortified enemy positions.
A whimper wakes me from my daydream, and I look into Patton’s face. With a chuckle, I get up and feed my bulldog. “You know back home you are a delicacy you overeating ass.”
The ship drops out of warp. And with it so does my stomach. All my old fears and worries flood back into me as I gather what I am bringing with me and head to the forward observation deck. “Time to see our new home, boy.”
Walking into the forward deck my stomach tightened even more as the USS Astraea filled the pane. Somehow my stomach is even tighter my legs a little weaker as the biggest ship I have seen is now in view. “It looks like we got a lot of people to meet and worry about, huh boy?”
“Well first get used to your duty Station. Let me know if you need any advice.” Turning I saw Capt. Dean all smiles and with a handshake, Patton and I went looking for Beo and Bree by the shuttles.

Tags: nerves,firsts